Archive for the ‘Jersey’ Tag

Cow Appreciation Day

On July 11, Chick Fil A is having a “Cow Appreciation Day” and they’ll be giving away a bunch of chicken to celebrate. If you dress fully like a cow, hooves and horns and all, you get a free meal; this is for ADULTS or KIDS. If you dress only partially like a cow, say, just a mask, you get an entree. We’ll discuss the fact that nothing is really free at a later time.

Here’s a fun and subtle joke if you’re a contrarian sort who wants to harass some poor Chick Fil A worker next Friday:

  • Dress all in brown (you are a Jersey cow, because as a contrarian, you wouldn’t dare to dress like the heavily propagandized Holstein).
  • Throw together some simple horns and hooves. Seriously, you can make these out of scrap paper or something, or wear some brown shoes. Now you are fully dressed as a cow.
  • If they question you (the lack of black and white could confuse them mightily) or say you are only “part cow” (and at this point you really have to be female for the punch line to be effective), tell them that udders are a major part of the costume, but for the sake of modesty and family values, they shall remain covered. If you get a sharp one who exclaims, “Hey, you’re a dairy cow, not a beef cow!” simply remind them that their award winning ad campaign uses dairy Holsteins. Then tell them to hand over the meal, or you’re going to send in PETA.
A Jersey cow

I would like to think that Chick Fil A is fulfilling their mission statement of being a “faithful steward to all that is entrusted to” them by using only pastured animals, but I’m pretty sure the superhuman scale of the whole operation would preclude such a thing. This is not to denigrate any faithful stewardship they actually are accomplishing.

On this Independence Day, instead of celebrating your country’s freedom by blowing up a small part of it, consider exercising your freedom of speech and go start a blog. It’s easy, fun, cathartic and you get to be part of the people’s revolution in self-publishing. Bye, bye, big media!